Last night, we were stuck for hours doing the first court-mandated evaluation at a local psych hospital. It was pretty bad for HER (and so for me). SHE was in a seriously manic phase and was talking 200/mph. It was like a stream of consciousness thing where SHE skipped from topic to topic and never shut up. I swear it seems like SHE never took a breath. Even in the waiting room, it was non-stop.
When we finally got in with the evaluator, SHE still kept talking. In fact, the inability to be still actually made the evaluation take longer because the person doing it had to keep telling HER to be quiet, stay on topic and stop interrupting while we were trying to get through the Q & A. Questions had to be repeated four or five times over HER constant chatter and it dragged the process out by double the time.
Of course, the verbal diarrhea was sometimes revealing. I heard some things I didn't need to hear. I also heard HER say SHE really did love me and that SHE wanted whatever it took to get better. This was the place where they wanted HER to just do the partial-patient care and not a full residential course of treatment. They were sure eager to get my insurance information, that's for sure. All I can say is that, if they bill for that eval (which is supposed to be free and covered by the courts), I am going to complain to the BBB and the AMA. SHE wants the residential care and I think it would be good because it would help stabilize HER and perhaps re-instill the good habits SHE once had.
I also believe it will do both of us good to have HER in a safe place where there is 24/7 monitoring. On HER own, she disappears--dodging school, treatment and even HER meds. Someone ELSE requiring SHE follow a schedule, making HER adhere to REAL hygiene standards, getting rid of the fake hair and junk, and insisting upon daily attendance in group and individual treat sessions in a CONTROLLED environment is what both SHE and I think will be for the best. I have been doing the "jailer" thing for so long, SHE resents me too much to listen to me.
In addition, two sets of rules in a day will make it too confusing for HER until SHE is stable with her meds. I still think the meds are the first thing to deal with because changing them every couple of months without daily monitoring is a waste. If something is wrong or they don't work, it means waiting to get in and dealing with the bad side effects. At least, inpatient care, they can observe, react and adjust immediately. At home, I clean up broken glass and deal with the verbal and physical abuse.
...Like the call I got just now to supply food for HER and the people SHE told me SHE was going to send the night with--knowing there is that mandatory session tomorrow with the court psychologist. SHE has called five times in the last ten minutes demanding I bring her stuff NOW or else.While I welcome the potential for a few hours' peace and quiet, this is not going to last. I will get calls non-stop for the rest of the day, demanding one thing or another. All this will be for asshats who take advantage of HER mental illness and HER abuse of me!
02 October 2010
It's been a long, horrible summer
SHE gets no better. This summer was a never-ending round of trying to figure out where she was, who she was with, what kind of drugs were getting passed around...
Oh, and THREE more assaults on me. I have permanent nerve damage in my right upper arm, bad shin splints where SHE kicked me, a permanently blackened left eye (the bruise will not go away and I look like a damned raccoon), whiplash and a lot less hair.
House damage--busted out window, kicked-in siding, phones stomped through, nasty graffiti in day-glo all along the side of the house (luckily not visible from the street), kicked-in doors with busted jambs and all the other assorted things busted when SHE gets angry.
SHE has also kicked dents into the side of my car, busted the internal passenger handle and ruined the upholstery on the passenger side front seat.
Monetarily--I have ZERO money in the bank. Nothing in my regular account, nothing in savings and nothing elsewhere. Due to some money not arriving when it should have, I had to take an advance on my salary which I have to pay back with interest, so there will be nothing left from the next pay check.
Meanwhile, SHE still just takes whatever SHE decides to. Be it money, clothing, food, or whatever, SHE has it in HER mind that it MUST be HERS because SHE wants it. Telling HER no or to wait results in violence.
The last assault had to do with telling HER to wait till the next morning for $8. Well, SHE didn't want to wait and started tearing up the house looking to see if I had any money hidden from HER (after all, on HER planet, ALL money must be given to HER or else). When I told HER to stop because there was nothing hidden (I stopped carrying any cash a long time ago because it disappears), SHE started screaming that I was a liar and I had better give HER that money "right now!" or SHE was going to get it HER way. HER way is to jump on me and start beating on me.
SHE likes to wear spiky high heels and decided to kick me with them multiple times on my legs and knees, once also catching my ribs. SHE then grabbed my hair in both fists and started jerking my head back and forth, twisting and pulling until I almost blacked out. I tried to grab HER to make it stop and that made it worse. When I tried to grab a phone, SHE snatched it and ran away (as I found out later, to stomp a hole in the middle of the key pad). That gave me just enough time to text my friend across the street to call the cops. Actually, I only got "call cop" out before SHE came back at me again. When I finally got in a defensive blow, SHE started slamming me against the desk, floor and bookcase again. My friend meanwhile did call the cops and she came over with her son to try to get in. Friend banged on the windows because she heard me screaming as that BEAST yanked out another clump of my hair. It distracted HER enough to let me get away and out the door where the cops were already waiting.
Luckily, it was the same guys who arrested HER the last two times and they were not buying HER "my mom tried to choke me" routine. They could see there was not a mark on HER while I was tore up and bleeding from where my hair had been yanked out. SHE kept screaming at me that SHE wanted me to die and lunged at me till the one cop cuffed her and dared her to move again.
My friend did a statement, they took pictures of the latest damage and took HER in for the usual 12 hours in holding. This was despite my specifically requesting a psych hold on HER. By law, they should have taken HER in for at least 72 hours and given HER a full examination/evaluation. They refused because SHE was not suicidal. OK, but the law also says they should take a person in if they present a danger to themselves OR others in a homicidal manner if they have a history of mental illness. Gee, trying to kill one's parent seems homicidal to me. It's my understanding cops do their best NOT to take a person in on the hold because they hate doing the paperwork. So, 12 hours later, I had to go get HER or be arrested for child abandonment. Really!!! I don't want a potential killer in my house, but I could go to jail for NOT wanting it.
This time, with the previous charges on record, it means more than informal "time served". SHE has to go to official court, file a plea and get a real sentence with a record. Since SHE is trying to get a PT job, SHE screwed THAT up. Modeling is out for a while because SHE cut all HER hair off again and pasted more fugly weave tracks all over HER head. SHE also let HER dumbass friend attempt to pierce HER lips again. Luckily, Juvie Intake made HER take them out and the holes closed. But there ARE small scars because dumbass friend did the piercing really badly.
The sad thing is that SHE really is a beautiful girl, but SHE keeps doing stupid things to destroy HER looks. HER summer hobby was to cut, too, so there are scars on HER legs that I don't think will ever quite go away. Months later, there are still visible traces all the way down HER thighs. HER arms and legs are covered with bruises all the time because SHE won't eat decent food. I am sick of people thinking I had something to do with HER condition because SHE always looks like a street person on meth (which SHE proudly boasted to me that SHE has tried). I can't make HER take pride in HERSELF. That is a choice SHE had to make for HERSELF. So far, SHE is convinced looking and behaving like SHE is queen of the dumpster set is acceptable and nothing anyone can tell HER will change her mind--especially since the equally damaged trash SHE hangs out with look and act just as bad, telling HER that SHE is "helluh gorgeous" and "perfect" as SHE is now--violent and not suitable for public viewing.
There really is a need for some sort of intervention, but... Depending on which of the several mental health professionals who have already dealt with HER, the recommendations are all over the place. Two want HER in residential care for a while, one wants to send HER away to boot camp or something, one recommends intensive partial care (they pick HER up, take HER to have treatment all day, then bring HER back home every night and all weekend), and two others say to just dump HER on the system and walk away.
Well, the first court appearance is Monday. They will do the first assessment, send HER to the PD for possible plea deals, and set another court date. That means I have to pray I won't get attacked again for however long before the next court date. I really hope the judge orders residential while waiting for all the testing.
At least the school finally has documentation from HER primary providers that HER conditions can affect attendance because right now SHE is considered a truant. Yep, more legal drama for ME because SHE just doesn't have the brain "chips" that warn HER that SHE is delving in danger.
The upshot is that I am the one missing work, having to pay the fines, drive HER to all the PO meetings (and soon, community service) and having to constantly explain why I am never where I am supposed to be.
Oh, and THREE more assaults on me. I have permanent nerve damage in my right upper arm, bad shin splints where SHE kicked me, a permanently blackened left eye (the bruise will not go away and I look like a damned raccoon), whiplash and a lot less hair.
House damage--busted out window, kicked-in siding, phones stomped through, nasty graffiti in day-glo all along the side of the house (luckily not visible from the street), kicked-in doors with busted jambs and all the other assorted things busted when SHE gets angry.
SHE has also kicked dents into the side of my car, busted the internal passenger handle and ruined the upholstery on the passenger side front seat.
Monetarily--I have ZERO money in the bank. Nothing in my regular account, nothing in savings and nothing elsewhere. Due to some money not arriving when it should have, I had to take an advance on my salary which I have to pay back with interest, so there will be nothing left from the next pay check.
Meanwhile, SHE still just takes whatever SHE decides to. Be it money, clothing, food, or whatever, SHE has it in HER mind that it MUST be HERS because SHE wants it. Telling HER no or to wait results in violence.
The last assault had to do with telling HER to wait till the next morning for $8. Well, SHE didn't want to wait and started tearing up the house looking to see if I had any money hidden from HER (after all, on HER planet, ALL money must be given to HER or else). When I told HER to stop because there was nothing hidden (I stopped carrying any cash a long time ago because it disappears), SHE started screaming that I was a liar and I had better give HER that money "right now!" or SHE was going to get it HER way. HER way is to jump on me and start beating on me.
SHE likes to wear spiky high heels and decided to kick me with them multiple times on my legs and knees, once also catching my ribs. SHE then grabbed my hair in both fists and started jerking my head back and forth, twisting and pulling until I almost blacked out. I tried to grab HER to make it stop and that made it worse. When I tried to grab a phone, SHE snatched it and ran away (as I found out later, to stomp a hole in the middle of the key pad). That gave me just enough time to text my friend across the street to call the cops. Actually, I only got "call cop" out before SHE came back at me again. When I finally got in a defensive blow, SHE started slamming me against the desk, floor and bookcase again. My friend meanwhile did call the cops and she came over with her son to try to get in. Friend banged on the windows because she heard me screaming as that BEAST yanked out another clump of my hair. It distracted HER enough to let me get away and out the door where the cops were already waiting.
Luckily, it was the same guys who arrested HER the last two times and they were not buying HER "my mom tried to choke me" routine. They could see there was not a mark on HER while I was tore up and bleeding from where my hair had been yanked out. SHE kept screaming at me that SHE wanted me to die and lunged at me till the one cop cuffed her and dared her to move again.
My friend did a statement, they took pictures of the latest damage and took HER in for the usual 12 hours in holding. This was despite my specifically requesting a psych hold on HER. By law, they should have taken HER in for at least 72 hours and given HER a full examination/evaluation. They refused because SHE was not suicidal. OK, but the law also says they should take a person in if they present a danger to themselves OR others in a homicidal manner if they have a history of mental illness. Gee, trying to kill one's parent seems homicidal to me. It's my understanding cops do their best NOT to take a person in on the hold because they hate doing the paperwork. So, 12 hours later, I had to go get HER or be arrested for child abandonment. Really!!! I don't want a potential killer in my house, but I could go to jail for NOT wanting it.
This time, with the previous charges on record, it means more than informal "time served". SHE has to go to official court, file a plea and get a real sentence with a record. Since SHE is trying to get a PT job, SHE screwed THAT up. Modeling is out for a while because SHE cut all HER hair off again and pasted more fugly weave tracks all over HER head. SHE also let HER dumbass friend attempt to pierce HER lips again. Luckily, Juvie Intake made HER take them out and the holes closed. But there ARE small scars because dumbass friend did the piercing really badly.
The sad thing is that SHE really is a beautiful girl, but SHE keeps doing stupid things to destroy HER looks. HER summer hobby was to cut, too, so there are scars on HER legs that I don't think will ever quite go away. Months later, there are still visible traces all the way down HER thighs. HER arms and legs are covered with bruises all the time because SHE won't eat decent food. I am sick of people thinking I had something to do with HER condition because SHE always looks like a street person on meth (which SHE proudly boasted to me that SHE has tried). I can't make HER take pride in HERSELF. That is a choice SHE had to make for HERSELF. So far, SHE is convinced looking and behaving like SHE is queen of the dumpster set is acceptable and nothing anyone can tell HER will change her mind--especially since the equally damaged trash SHE hangs out with look and act just as bad, telling HER that SHE is "helluh gorgeous" and "perfect" as SHE is now--violent and not suitable for public viewing.
There really is a need for some sort of intervention, but... Depending on which of the several mental health professionals who have already dealt with HER, the recommendations are all over the place. Two want HER in residential care for a while, one wants to send HER away to boot camp or something, one recommends intensive partial care (they pick HER up, take HER to have treatment all day, then bring HER back home every night and all weekend), and two others say to just dump HER on the system and walk away.
Well, the first court appearance is Monday. They will do the first assessment, send HER to the PD for possible plea deals, and set another court date. That means I have to pray I won't get attacked again for however long before the next court date. I really hope the judge orders residential while waiting for all the testing.
At least the school finally has documentation from HER primary providers that HER conditions can affect attendance because right now SHE is considered a truant. Yep, more legal drama for ME because SHE just doesn't have the brain "chips" that warn HER that SHE is delving in danger.
The upshot is that I am the one missing work, having to pay the fines, drive HER to all the PO meetings (and soon, community service) and having to constantly explain why I am never where I am supposed to be.
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