Almost forgot

Last night, we were stuck for hours doing the first court-mandated evaluation at a local psych hospital. It was pretty bad for HER (and so for me). SHE was in a seriously manic phase and was talking 200/mph. It was like a stream of consciousness thing where SHE skipped from topic to topic and never shut up. I swear it seems like SHE never took a breath. Even in the waiting room, it was non-stop.

When we finally got in with the evaluator, SHE still kept talking. In fact, the inability to be still actually made the evaluation take longer because the person doing it had to keep telling HER to be quiet, stay on topic and stop interrupting while we were trying to get through the Q & A. Questions had to be repeated four or five times over HER constant chatter and it dragged the process out by double the time.

Of course, the verbal diarrhea was sometimes revealing. I heard some things I didn't need to hear. I also heard HER say SHE really did love me and that SHE wanted whatever it took to get better. This was the place where they wanted HER to just do the partial-patient care and not a full residential course of treatment. They were sure eager to get my insurance information, that's for sure. All I can say is that, if they bill for that eval (which is supposed to be free and covered by the courts), I am going to complain to the BBB and the AMA. SHE wants the residential care and I think it would be good because it would help stabilize HER and perhaps re-instill the good habits SHE once had.

I also believe it will do both of us good to have HER in a safe place where there is 24/7 monitoring. On HER own, she disappears--dodging school, treatment and even HER meds. Someone ELSE requiring SHE follow a schedule, making HER adhere to REAL hygiene standards, getting rid of the fake hair and junk, and insisting upon daily attendance in group and individual treat sessions in a CONTROLLED environment is what both SHE and I think will be for the best. I have been doing the "jailer" thing for so long, SHE resents me too much to listen to me.

In addition, two sets of rules in a day will make it too confusing for HER until SHE is stable with her meds. I still think the meds are the first thing to deal with because changing them every couple of months without daily monitoring is a waste. If something is wrong or they don't work, it means waiting to get in and dealing with the bad side effects. At least, inpatient care, they can observe, react and adjust immediately. At home, I clean up broken glass and deal with the verbal and physical abuse.

...Like the call I got just now to supply food for HER and the people SHE told me SHE was going to send the night with--knowing there is that mandatory session tomorrow with the court psychologist. SHE has called five times in the last ten minutes demanding I bring her stuff NOW or else.While I welcome the potential for a few hours' peace and quiet, this is not going to last. I will get calls non-stop for the rest of the day, demanding one thing or another. All this will be for asshats who take advantage of HER mental illness and HER abuse of me!